Christmas Prepper Gifts

Ready for the holidays?

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'You mean to tell me you forgot where you buried dinner?'

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

"What are you doing? It's Halloween. Not leaving your deliveries to the last minute this year?"

A sun opens its mouth to eat a burning Earth

Zombie Problems

Cheer up-things aren't so bad.....

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Santa's wash day.

The End is Nigh

The other days of the year...

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

"If I have this peanut in my pocket, it means I must have buried my keys!"

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

"My next book? It will probably be about rising up and crushing humanity."

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

"Don't even think about it."

The end is near - well, at least for the sandwich board guy.

'The holidays are about to be thrust upon us, Edgar, are you prepared?'

'Yes, Ralph, they are nuts, but...'

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

"Each year John has so much trouble untangling the lights, they're on him longer than the tree!"

Santa using the stock exchange to keep track of stocks and bonds being good or bad as well as going up or down

"This isn't just about the wolf anymore, is it?"

"Every time Trump wins a primary, we get one step closer."

When a nanosecond is forever.