History Punster Gifts

'Caesar salad?'

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

Ideas Ahead of their Time

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

Dogs life

"I got ninety-nine problems, but a birch ain't one!"

K9 Literati

'Out, damned Spot.'

Tequila Mockingbird

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"I'll carve the wheels, you'll sell them, and Oog, here, can be customer service."

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

Veloci-Rapper

Mystery of the Poets

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

"Let's not try to make this symbolic. Of anything."

'Don't you think they'd be better off in the water?'

Beauty and the Baste

Bookworm in book, sign reads: 'Tome, Sweet Tome.'

How The Ice Age Began: 'OK, can we freeze it right there...'

2B or not 2B

"This, Yorik... Do you know him well?"

'This is the age of specialisation - you can't be a hunter AND a gatherer.'

Pig philosophy class - 'I'm pink, therefore I'm ham'

Optometrist Humor

"Damn autocorrect!"

"Have you ever considered getting braces?"

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

'I'm calling my invention 'IPO'.'

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."