Science Punster Gifts

"Oh, nothing much. Just experimenting with some rabbits."

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

You too?! I go around feeling half asleep all the time also!

'Hey Einstein, how about converting some of your mass into energy and getting this place cleaned up?'

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Ideas Ahead of their Time

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

Water is discovered on the moon....

K9 Literati

'Out, damned Spot.'

The Physiciatrist...

Doctor to patient: 'While I'm back here, let's try a little something I learned when I was a ventriloquist.'

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

"I trust him - he has a science background."

Happy Bifurcation Day,

Bookworm in book, sign reads: 'Tome, Sweet Tome.'

2B or not 2B

It's a pretty serious chemical imbalance, Mr. Sims

'On Wall Street, both stocks and bonds dropped on news that adversity is good for the soul.'

"Sometimes I bark at nothing."

"Here comes the super-visor."

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'

"I don't know - the minute I figured out how to make it self-aware it realized it was naked, ran, and hid from me."

Pig philosophy class - 'I'm pink, therefore I'm ham'

Optometrist Humor

"It looks like we're out of sample placebos."

Uranus always gets a bad rap. Tap tap tap tap tap. What do you mean, dorkboy? I mean, no matter how mature people think they are, they always, always want to chuckle when they say "Uranus." Come on, Sadie. You know you want to smirk, even if it's in secret. What if I told you Uranus is slightly bigger than Neptune? Not chuckling! Uranus is always the butt of the joke.

Gas station

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."

'Periodic table and avoirdupois weight of the Mendeleev family'