Prehistory Punster Gifts

'Do you mean LAWYER?'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

The first car accident.

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

Intelligent people laugh too!

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

Early photobombing

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

Ideas Ahead of their Time

"Admit it, we're lost."

"All we have left is standing room only."

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

Sweep the board.

"See, Og If mammoth foot ticklish, could me do this"

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

'You know what they say...live fast, die young and leave a great fossil.'

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

"No chips, but I did snag the new Hiaasen."

'It's worse than we thought: You've got termites.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)