Historical Comedy Enthusiast Gifts

'Shit, I left the price on the myrrh...'

"We're following Carrot Top."

"You're on a what?!"

When laundry ruled the waves.

'Yes, all at once!'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

"Bonk!"

"I'd like you to see an Anthropologist.''

"Perhaps it wasn't so wise to bring Frosty along!"

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with prostate!'

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

"They got me for pillaging. How about you?"

Nanki Poo

The Algonquin Round Table

'Yes, the colours are wonderful. But he only does five pages per month, and he doesn't support PostScript.'

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

"C'mon. Just one more round of funding and I'll build you a horde that'll knock your socks off."

"You ever get the feeling the posse's starting to lose focus?"

'Too cheap to buy me real flowers, huh?'

'Huh, that Will Shakespeare, a man of few words.'

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

'Hey, I made a hole in Juan.'

"We brought him into oversee our millennium menu...he did such a good job on the last one"

Carl Wilhelm Scheele: "There was a great display of ores and minerals...I could not write with a molybdenite pencil."

The Enemy

Washington Crossing the Delaware, Having Been Invited to Join the Faculty at Princeton