Historical Comedy Buff Gifts

Nanki Poo

"You're on a what?!"

When laundry ruled the waves.

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

"Can you stop complaining about historical inaccuracy and try to enjoy yourself for one minute?"

Early on-line shopping

"Bonk!"

"I'd like you to see an Anthropologist.''

"Perhaps it wasn't so wise to bring Frosty along!"

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

"They got me for pillaging. How about you?"

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

The Algonquin Round Table

'Yes, the colours are wonderful. But he only does five pages per month, and he doesn't support PostScript.'

"You ever get the feeling the posse's starting to lose focus?"

"C'mon. Just one more round of funding and I'll build you a horde that'll knock your socks off."

'Hey, I made a hole in Juan.'

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

The Enemy

'Huh, that Will Shakespeare, a man of few words.'

"Lady Liberty, I choose you...ooo...ooo...oooh!"

Carl Wilhelm Scheele: "There was a great display of ores and minerals...I could not write with a molybdenite pencil."

"We brought him into oversee our millennium menu...he did such a good job on the last one"

'Too cheap to buy me real flowers, huh?'

Washington Crossing the Delaware, Having Been Invited to Join the Faculty at Princeton

'Don't believe everything you read.'

Shakspeare a little altered. - 'He lived not wisely, but too well.'

"Let's try one with your hand tucked into your shirt."