Historical Humor Buffs Gifts

The Coffin Ships

Searching for a Wife

'I've seen pirates with all kinds of wooden artificial limbs but this is something new.'

"We're following Carrot Top."

"You're on a what?!"

When laundry ruled the waves.

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

Early on-line shopping

"Bonk!"

"Perhaps it wasn't so wise to bring Frosty along!"

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

Nanki Poo

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

"They got me for pillaging. How about you?"

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

The Algonquin Round Table

'Yes, the colours are wonderful. But he only does five pages per month, and he doesn't support PostScript.'

"C'mon. Just one more round of funding and I'll build you a horde that'll knock your socks off."

"You ever get the feeling the posse's starting to lose focus?"

'Hey, I made a hole in Juan.'

The Enemy

Carl Wilhelm Scheele: "There was a great display of ores and minerals...I could not write with a molybdenite pencil."

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

'Too cheap to buy me real flowers, huh?'

"We brought him into oversee our millennium menu...he did such a good job on the last one"

'Huh, that Will Shakespeare, a man of few words.'

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"

Washington Crossing the Delaware, Having Been Invited to Join the Faculty at Princeton

Servant Painting Targets Around Arrows Shot by a King

'Don't believe everything you read.'