History Humor Fans Gifts

"He just discovered his reflection."

"I don't care if these are the Dark Ages! - I'm going to bleach my hair anyway!'

"You're on a what?!"

When laundry ruled the waves.

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'Yes, all at once!'

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

"Bonk!"

"Perhaps it wasn't so wise to bring Frosty along!"

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

"They got me for pillaging. How about you?"

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with prostate!'

The Algonquin Round Table

'Yes, the colours are wonderful. But he only does five pages per month, and he doesn't support PostScript.'

"If Noah asks... Just tell him you've all had your vaccinations."

"You ever get the feeling the posse's starting to lose focus?"

"C'mon. Just one more round of funding and I'll build you a horde that'll knock your socks off."

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

The Enemy

"We brought him into oversee our millennium menu...he did such a good job on the last one"

'Hey, I made a hole in Juan.'

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

'Too cheap to buy me real flowers, huh?'

Carl Wilhelm Scheele: "There was a great display of ores and minerals...I could not write with a molybdenite pencil."

'Huh, that Will Shakespeare, a man of few words.'

Washington Crossing the Delaware, Having Been Invited to Join the Faculty at Princeton

Servant Painting Targets Around Arrows Shot by a King

'Don't believe everything you read.'

Shakspeare a little altered. - 'He lived not wisely, but too well.'