History Humor Fan Gifts

'I just killed a big gray thing with bumps all over it - how about you folks come over for dinner?'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'Oh, she's not a witch or anything -- she just served leftover turkey five days in a row.'

A surprise guest

I'll take it off when you stop biting your stitches. Veterinarian.

'There goes that bigamist I was telling you about.'

Early dodgeball.

'I'm sorry, we've just opened. We really don't have anything yet!'

"I hate breaking in a new King!"

"At first I thought a full size spare was a good idea, but now..."

"Um... Mr Trump? When I said raise your hand..."

"You're on a what?!"

When laundry ruled the waves.

'Yes, all at once!'

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

The Uber Ride of Paul Revere

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

Early on-line shopping

"Bonk!"

Moses unblocking the toilet.

"Perhaps it wasn't so wise to bring Frosty along!"

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with prostate!'

"They got me for pillaging. How about you?"

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

The Algonquin Round Table

'Yes, the colours are wonderful. But he only does five pages per month, and he doesn't support PostScript.'

"C'mon. Just one more round of funding and I'll build you a horde that'll knock your socks off."

"You ever get the feeling the posse's starting to lose focus?"

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"