History Humor Aficionado Gifts

'Well here's your problem - the wheel hasn't been invented yet.'

"... But you can still ask the audience."

'Good shot. It would have gone in if hoop had been invented.'

"Spoiler alert with the carnivores, they think it's a dinner cruise."

The game before paper and scissors were invented.

"We're following Carrot Top."

"You're on a what?!"

When laundry ruled the waves.

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'Yes, all at once!'

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

"Can you stop complaining about historical inaccuracy and try to enjoy yourself for one minute?"

"Bonk!"

Early on-line shopping

"Perhaps it wasn't so wise to bring Frosty along!"

Trojan horse with a satellite dish.

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

"They got me for pillaging. How about you?"

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with prostate!'

The Algonquin Round Table

'Yes, the colours are wonderful. But he only does five pages per month, and he doesn't support PostScript.'

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

"C'mon. Just one more round of funding and I'll build you a horde that'll knock your socks off."

"You ever get the feeling the posse's starting to lose focus?"

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

'Hey, I made a hole in Juan.'

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

Carl Wilhelm Scheele: "There was a great display of ores and minerals...I could not write with a molybdenite pencil."

'Huh, that Will Shakespeare, a man of few words.'