History Humor Aficionado Gifts

'Well here's your problem - the wheel hasn't been invented yet.'

"You will meet a tall dark stranger, then a short dark..."

"... But you can still ask the audience."

Moses in bobsled at the Red Sea

'Good shot. It would have gone in if hoop had been invented.'

"Spoiler alert with the carnivores, they think it's a dinner cruise."

The game before paper and scissors were invented.

"We're following Carrot Top."

"You're on a what?!"

When laundry ruled the waves.

'Yes, all at once!'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

The Uber Ride of Paul Revere

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

"Can you stop complaining about historical inaccuracy and try to enjoy yourself for one minute?"

Early on-line shopping

"Bonk!"

Moses unblocking the toilet.

Trojan horse with a satellite dish.

"Perhaps it wasn't so wise to bring Frosty along!"

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

"They got me for pillaging. How about you?"

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with prostate!'

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

The Algonquin Round Table

'Yes, the colours are wonderful. But he only does five pages per month, and he doesn't support PostScript.'

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

"C'mon. Just one more round of funding and I'll build you a horde that'll knock your socks off."

"You ever get the feeling the posse's starting to lose focus?"

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

'Too cheap to buy me real flowers, huh?'