Highway Helper Gifts

'Stu and I joined the Adopt-A-Highway program.'

"...Apparently we're responsible for snow removal on that stretch of highway we adopted."

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

Lady about flat tire: 'It's not too bad - it's only flat on the bottom.'

YONDER...next 347 miles.

Lanes Closed for the Hell of It

"Wow! You do have a triple A membership!"

"You must be the newly qualified driver."

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right

A guy in the desert changing a flat tire, while the spare tire also get damaged.

'I do have an extra set of keys, they're in the glovebox.'

'Sue's troubles with the law began the day she bought that first motorbike.'

Say speed

Make up your mind. Next exit 500 miles.

'How are you doing on your side?'

'At 11:35 it's the SLOW sign. At 11:39, the STOP sign. At 11:43 it's back to the SLOW sign. At 11:49 you break for lunch. At 1:00 it's the STOP sign...'

'Should I call the auto club of the coast guard?'

Man in car sees fallen sign on the hood of his car which says, CAUTION sign-holding road worker falls asleep.

Witch's Tow

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

"On your mark! Get set!"

Using teamwork to paint a lamppost.

Way to go

Speed limit 70mph and up.

NEXT EXIT Food & Drink Cafe...Open 24 hours: 'Hey! Here's the place we saw advertised on the freeway!'

Temporarily closed for resurfacing.

"Uh-huh, I see... and how did you get along with the other adopted sections of this highway?"

'We can improve our response times in road services.'

"Luckily, my insurance covers roadside assistance."

"Drat! A flat tyre. . ."

A 'failed' brake check!

'Most of all, I want a long-term highway bill.'

"My husband would get out and change the tire, but he has a lug nut allergy."