Healthcare Sense Of Humor Gifts

'The good news is the diseases you've mangaed to avoid far outnumber the diseases you've got.'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

"I stand corrected."

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

'Time for your pills.'

'If it doesn't itch, why worry?'

"I don't leave home without it!"

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

The importance of paying attention in med school.

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

The GPC has written to ministers about how children can be more involved with the NHS

'Snap out of it.'

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

Prescriptions: "Jack of Clubs?"

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'

'You need some stress.'

'You do have catastrophic insurance, but it only applies in case of invasion from outer space.'

"The doctor will now glance in passing at you."

"I've heard that your medication can grow extra nipples, but I wouldn't worry about that if I were you..."

Nurse holding giant pill tells patient, 'Relax. It's chewable.'

Doctor's poker.

Fish swimming around inside drip.

Flu Drugs.