Healthcare Sense Of Humor Pillows

'The good news is the diseases you've mangaed to avoid far outnumber the diseases you've got.'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

"I stand corrected."

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

To encourage patients to take their medication, Dr. Gratner brought in a sketch artist to show them what they will look like in six months without meds.

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'Time for your pills.'

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

'If it doesn't itch, why worry?'

"I don't leave home without it!"

The importance of paying attention in med school.

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

The GPC has written to ministers about how children can be more involved with the NHS

'Snap out of it.'

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

"I didn't say he's dying from choking. I said he's killing us with his joking."

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

Prescriptions: "Jack of Clubs?"

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'

"The doctor will now glance in passing at you."

'You need some stress.'

'You do have catastrophic insurance, but it only applies in case of invasion from outer space.'

"... And who asked for your opinion, I'd like to know?!"

Doctor's poker.

Flu Drugs.

"I've heard that your medication can grow extra nipples, but I wouldn't worry about that if I were you..."