Humor In Healthcare Gifts

'If it doesn't itch, why worry?'

"....And Mother Yancy will be assisting the reattachment team this morning..."

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

"Ok, first off... ever have one of those days when you just can't seem to do anything right?"

He seems healthy, but I'd like to keep him here for observation.

"There was nothing you could do. It's not your fault if the patient doesn't show for the operation!"

'I told you nothing was out of joint but your nose.'

Doctor's poker.

"Thanks for curing my multiple personality disorder, Doc... How much do we owe you?"

"Before we begin, how high is your tolerance for pain?"

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

"I stand corrected."

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

To encourage patients to take their medication, Dr. Gratner brought in a sketch artist to show them what they will look like in six months without meds.

'Time for your pills.'

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

'We don't have a cure for your ailment but there is an appropriate app available.'

"I don't leave home without it!"

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

The importance of paying attention in med school.

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

The GPC has written to ministers about how children can be more involved with the NHS

'Snap out of it.'

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

"I didn't say he's dying from choking. I said he's killing us with his joking."

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

Prescriptions: "Jack of Clubs?"