Humor In Healthcare Gifts

'If it doesn't itch, why worry?'

"....And Mother Yancy will be assisting the reattachment team this morning..."

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

"There was nothing you could do. It's not your fault if the patient doesn't show for the operation!"

'I told you nothing was out of joint but your nose.'

Doctor's poker.

"Thanks for curing my multiple personality disorder, Doc... How much do we owe you?"

"Before we begin, how high is your tolerance for pain?"

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

"I stand corrected."

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

'Time for your pills.'

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

'We don't have a cure for your ailment but there is an appropriate app available.'

"I don't leave home without it!"

The importance of paying attention in med school.

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

The GPC has written to ministers about how children can be more involved with the NHS

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

'Snap out of it.'

Prescriptions: "Jack of Clubs?"

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'