Healthcare Comedy Collector Gifts

"Bingo! Found it!"

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

Saline Drip Sommelier.

'Time for your pills.'

There's Nothing Worse Than A Staff Infection

"It will be okay to hop when you go home but don't try to run."

The importance of paying attention in med school.

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

Robot surgery.

'Hi, I'm Dr.Jones. Sorry about my little prank, but it saves us a fortune in enemas.'

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

"Would you like to see today's liquidized menu?"

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

"There were some squiggly bits left over after the operation, so we gave you a doggie bag."

'It's important to treat all our patients as individuals...this for example is individual number 78/yh5-fg34c.'

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'

'I was a junior doctor when I started this shift.'

'You need some stress.'

"Pay attention, 'switch it off switch it on again' does not apply to the life support machines."

"I've heard that your medication can grow extra nipples, but I wouldn't worry about that if I were you..."

"... And who asked for your opinion, I'd like to know?!"

'Looks like we could have a pandemic on our hands.'

Fish swimming around inside drip.

Flyingdoctor's receptionist.

Nurse holding giant pill tells patient, 'Relax. It's chewable.'

Admissions lady: 'I don't take care of myself like I should ... my negligence probably killed a guy once ... I'm secretly attracted to you ...'