Healthcare Comedy Gifts

'Does it hurt when I do this?'

"Do not resuscitate if Trump wins."

"I've decided to be an organ donor."

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

Saline Drip Sommelier.

'Time for your pills.'

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

"I don't leave home without it!"

There's Nothing Worse Than A Staff Infection

The importance of paying attention in med school.

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

Robot surgery.

'Hi, I'm Dr.Jones. Sorry about my little prank, but it saves us a fortune in enemas.'

The GPC has written to ministers about how children can be more involved with the NHS

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

'Snap out of it.'

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

"I didn't say he's dying from choking. I said he's killing us with his joking."

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'It's important to treat all our patients as individuals...this for example is individual number 78/yh5-fg34c.'

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

'I think it's your colon. I came to that conclusion through the process of elimination.'