Health Care Comedy Lover Gifts

'Relax. Mr. Miller. It's just a standard prostate exam.'

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

Saline Drip Sommelier.

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'Time for your pills.'

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

There's Nothing Worse Than A Staff Infection

The importance of paying attention in med school.

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

Robot surgery.

'Hi, I'm Dr.Jones. Sorry about my little prank, but it saves us a fortune in enemas.'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'It's important to treat all our patients as individuals...this for example is individual number 78/yh5-fg34c.'

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

'I think it's your colon. I came to that conclusion through the process of elimination.'

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'

'I was a junior doctor when I started this shift.'

I don't care what happened on ER. This doctor patient relationship is not going to descend into unbridled passion.

'You need some stress.'

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

'You do have catastrophic insurance, but it only applies in case of invasion from outer space.'

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

'Looks like we could have a pandemic on our hands.'

"Yes, I have seen people in worse health than you. But, they were all dead."

Flyingdoctor's receptionist.