Health Care Comedy Lover Gifts

'Relax. Mr. Miller. It's just a standard prostate exam.'

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

Saline Drip Sommelier.

'Time for your pills.'

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

There's Nothing Worse Than A Staff Infection

The importance of paying attention in med school.

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

Robot surgery.

'Hi, I'm Dr.Jones. Sorry about my little prank, but it saves us a fortune in enemas.'

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'It's important to treat all our patients as individuals...this for example is individual number 78/yh5-fg34c.'

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

'I think it's your colon. I came to that conclusion through the process of elimination.'

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

'I'll give it back to you in a second hon, I just want to get this broccoli out of my teeth.'

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'

I don't care what happened on ER. This doctor patient relationship is not going to descend into unbridled passion.

'You need some stress.'

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

'You do have catastrophic insurance, but it only applies in case of invasion from outer space.'

'I was a junior doctor when I started this shift.'

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

Quick! 5-second rule!

"Yes, I have seen people in worse health than you. But, they were all dead."

"The operation was a success. Thank goodness for YouTube videos!"