Healthcare Comedy Connoisseur Gifts

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

Saline Drip Sommelier.

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'Time for your pills.'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

There's Nothing Worse Than A Staff Infection

The importance of paying attention in med school.

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

Robot surgery.

'Hi, I'm Dr.Jones. Sorry about my little prank, but it saves us a fortune in enemas.'

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'It's important to treat all our patients as individuals...this for example is individual number 78/yh5-fg34c.'

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'

'You do have catastrophic insurance, but it only applies in case of invasion from outer space.'

'You need some stress.'

'I was a junior doctor when I started this shift.'

Admissions lady: 'I don't take care of myself like I should ... my negligence probably killed a guy once ... I'm secretly attracted to you ...'

Fish swimming around inside drip.

Nurse holding giant pill tells patient, 'Relax. It's chewable.'

"... And who asked for your opinion, I'd like to know?!"

"I've heard that your medication can grow extra nipples, but I wouldn't worry about that if I were you..."

Flyingdoctor's receptionist.

'Looks like we could have a pandemic on our hands.'

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

Flu Drugs.