Healthcare Comedy Fan Gifts

'Still getting the hang of laser surgery'

"You clean him up! You're the one who gave him sleeping tablets and a laxative!"

Name that Artery

Surgeon has dropped his forceps.

"The good news is that your appendectomy op was a complete success"

"Sorry, Bob, those are the rules– you drop the kidney, you give them yours."

M.D. Mrs. Hoskins is here to match wits with you regarding her symptoms.

Dr. Smith Fear, Nose and Throat. Oh my!! You should be scared to death, Frank!

Specialist in 'profitable' diseases.

Man in hospital receiving the best food and wine

'It's a classy coronary ward. They turn down the sheets and put a statin on your pillow.'

"Remember - your blood thinning med won't unclog the drains."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

Saline Drip Sommelier.

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'Time for your pills.'

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

There's Nothing Worse Than A Staff Infection

The importance of paying attention in med school.

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

Robot surgery.

'Hi, I'm Dr.Jones. Sorry about my little prank, but it saves us a fortune in enemas.'

'Snap out of it.'

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'It's important to treat all our patients as individuals...this for example is individual number 78/yh5-fg34c.'

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

'I think it's your colon. I came to that conclusion through the process of elimination.'

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

'I'll give it back to you in a second hon, I just want to get this broccoli out of my teeth.'