Health Care Comedy Fan Gifts

Out to eat, brush, and floss.

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'Time for your pills.'

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

The importance of paying attention in med school.

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

'Snap out of it.'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'I apologize, Mr. Wilson, that scream wasn't very professional of me. . . But that IS one ugly growth on your chest!'

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

'I think it's your colon. I came to that conclusion through the process of elimination.'

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'

'I'm sending you to see another doctor, he's a specialist in hyperchondria.'

I don't care what happened on ER. This doctor patient relationship is not going to descend into unbridled passion.

'You need some stress.'

Orthopaedist

Fish swimming around inside drip.

"... And who asked for your opinion, I'd like to know?!"

"The operation was a success. Thank goodness for YouTube videos!"

Nurse holding giant pill tells patient, 'Relax. It's chewable.'

An allergist sneezing

'Virus?' - 'Yes, it's a Latin word we doctors use, meaning I haven't got a clue..'

"Pay attention, 'switch it off switch it on again' does not apply to the life support machines."

"I've heard that your medication can grow extra nipples, but I wouldn't worry about that if I were you..."

"Your bedside health care book ... thanks for not reading it."

"Yes, I have seen people in worse health than you. But, they were all dead."

Flu Drugs.