Comedy In Healthcare Fan Gifts

'Nurse, we think you might be getting a little too close to the patient.'

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

'Snap out of it.'

'I think it's your colon. I came to that conclusion through the process of elimination.'

'I'm sending you to see another doctor, he's a specialist in hyperchondria.'

I don't care what happened on ER. This doctor patient relationship is not going to descend into unbridled passion.

"You're in the "Stone Age." You've got kidney stones, gall stones, and bladder stones."

"Yes, I have seen people in worse health than you. But, they were all dead."

An allergist sneezing

'Virus?' - 'Yes, it's a Latin word we doctors use, meaning I haven't got a clue..'

"Pay attention, 'switch it off switch it on again' does not apply to the life support machines."

"Your bedside health care book ... thanks for not reading it."

'I'd like to be fed intravenously. I've heard about your hospital food!'

"The good news is that your appendectomy op was a complete success"

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

"The good news is we were able to save your leg..."

M.D. Mrs. Hoskins is here to match wits with you regarding her symptoms.

'Doctor, I thought I was the one who was supposed to say Ahh.'

NHS Trust Hospital: Management Team/Medical Staff

"I'd say it's a fungal infection."

'It's me, Jack Gurkenman! I'm your ophthalmologist with the broken left ankle, doctor!'

Doctor consulting a textbook.

'If that doesn't work, nothing will.'

"Sorry Mr Penrose. We forgot to shake your medicine this morning."

"Actually, I didn't become dizzy and nauseous until I started inhaling the scent strips in the waiting room magazines."

'It's just a precaution, the anesthetist can't find his wedding ring.'

'Mrs. Tomkins says her prescription has no side effects, so it can't be doing her any good.'

Prescriptions and Side-effects consultant.

General Hospital sign.

"I've decided to be an organ donor."

'Yes, I know you're not a vet. But as you're a quack, I thought yo might be able to help.'

'I had a taste of my own medicine yesterday - Yuck!'