Comedy In Healthcare Fan Gifts

'Nurse, we think you might be getting a little too close to the patient.'

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

'Snap out of it.'

'I think it's your colon. I came to that conclusion through the process of elimination.'

I don't care what happened on ER. This doctor patient relationship is not going to descend into unbridled passion.

'I'm sending you to see another doctor, he's a specialist in hyperchondria.'

'Virus?' - 'Yes, it's a Latin word we doctors use, meaning I haven't got a clue..'

An allergist sneezing

"Your bedside health care book ... thanks for not reading it."

"Yes, I have seen people in worse health than you. But, they were all dead."

"Pay attention, 'switch it off switch it on again' does not apply to the life support machines."

"You're in the "Stone Age." You've got kidney stones, gall stones, and bladder stones."

'I'd like to be fed intravenously. I've heard about your hospital food!'

"The good news is that your appendectomy op was a complete success"

"The good news is we were able to save your leg..."

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

"I'd say it's a fungal infection."

'Doctor, I thought I was the one who was supposed to say Ahh.'

"Sorry Mr Penrose. We forgot to shake your medicine this morning."

'It's just a precaution, the anesthetist can't find his wedding ring.'

'If that doesn't work, nothing will.'

"Actually, I didn't become dizzy and nauseous until I started inhaling the scent strips in the waiting room magazines."

NHS Trust Hospital: Management Team/Medical Staff

Doctor consulting a textbook.

'It's me, Jack Gurkenman! I'm your ophthalmologist with the broken left ankle, doctor!'

'Mrs. Tomkins says her prescription has no side effects, so it can't be doing her any good.'

Prescriptions and Side-effects consultant.

"I've decided to be an organ donor."

General Hospital sign.

"And then I said 'Don't worry, this is perfectly safe!' Ha, ha!"

"Jazz fusion, modern country or my podcast - my podcast it is!"

'Please pardon the mess around here -- the Surgeon-General held a surprise inspection.:'