Comedy Lover In Healthcare Gifts

Ah ha! Surgeons remove shopping trolley from patient.

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

Saline Drip Sommelier.

'Time for your pills.'

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

There's Nothing Worse Than A Staff Infection

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

The importance of paying attention in med school.

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

Robot surgery.

'Hi, I'm Dr.Jones. Sorry about my little prank, but it saves us a fortune in enemas.'

"Now, now, relax. All you're gonna feel is a quick jab."

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

'It's important to treat all our patients as individuals...this for example is individual number 78/yh5-fg34c.'

'Just another couple of pages.'

'I'll give it back to you in a second hon, I just want to get this broccoli out of my teeth.'

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'

'I was a junior doctor when I started this shift.'

'You need some stress.'

No offense, Doctor, but I'm feeling kinda rushed.

Admissions lady: 'I don't take care of myself like I should ... my negligence probably killed a guy once ... I'm secretly attracted to you ...'

"I've heard that your medication can grow extra nipples, but I wouldn't worry about that if I were you..."

"... And who asked for your opinion, I'd like to know?!"

Fish swimming around inside drip.

'Why do you people always wait a week or two before seeking medical help?

'Looks like we could have a pandemic on our hands.'

Flyingdoctor's receptionist.

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'