Health Club Manager Gifts

'At this company, we don't get sick, Kiesnowski!'

'I wished I'd known about this club last week. I'm really stressed out at my job!'

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

Trilby - 'Bonjour, Suzon!'

Dance.

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

Mouse on an Exercise Bike

"I hate Tuesday. Tuesday I work legs."

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

'Don't worry about a few pounds up or down. Our main concern is always your bottom line.'

'Does the gym have a motorized version of this cycle?'

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

"This next song's about spreading risk in a volitile market by diversification"

"We probably need to rethink our revenue strategy for the practice."

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

"OK, you're going to feel a little prick, followed by a burning desire to sue me."

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

Club insecurity.

"Well TECHNICALLY he might be DEAD, but accordinh to the hospital's new patient satisfaction metrics he's pretty damned pleased about it."

Clown riding unicycle exercise machine at health club.

'The operation we want you to do is to remove 25 from our budgets.'

'Dinosaurs might have survived if they'd gone to health clubs.'

"First, I'd like to know what arrangements your company has for flexitime!"

The Boss of the Kleptomania Clinic has turned up for work only to discover his Clinic has been stolen

'We're to spend more time engaging with patients on a more compassionate 'human' level...and here are the guidelines on how to do it!'

'And out hospital has rooms...lots of rooms, and some beds, and we've got stairs.'

"One more thing...don't upset the bouncer!"

Steps Class

Health Foods; "When did I ever eat back pain and trigger fingers?"

'Actually, I'm not looking for a bouncer. I'm looking for somebody to throw customers in.'

Superhero training.

Gym office in-out trays: Scrawny Brawny.