Club Management Gifts

Avram Grant

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

Kenny Dalglish

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

The Hockey World

Trilby - 'Bonjour, Suzon!'

Dance.

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

Ernesto Valverde Tejedor

'I wished I'd known about this club last week. I'm really stressed out at my job!'

Jose Mourinho & Roman Abramovich Caricature.

The Cavern Club - "One for the long and winding road Mr McCartney?"

'What makes you think we want to sell you son.'

You have had enough

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

"This next song's about spreading risk in a volitile market by diversification"

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

Tomorrow's our first eco club meeting. Yeah, I'm nervous! There are so many big issues!

"No, playing fantasy football doesn't count as exercise. No wonder you pulled a muscle getting up on the table."

'We're in a fantasy team owners' league, we locked out our players and came here to yuck it up.'

Club DJ.

Club insecurity.

"Telephone call for you, it's the Bank Manager."

'Due to budget cutbacks, we need to get by with less.'

"Let 'em try to regulate this!"

"Don't rush me, I've got to get it right!"

"One more thing...don't upset the bouncer!"

'Actually, I'm not looking for a bouncer. I'm looking for somebody to throw customers in.'

'I don't mind providing the snacks every week for the club. I'm just so honored you'd let a dentist be a member at all.'

The whole club stands behind the coach...

Stats. Fantasy League. The difference between men and boys is men draft their imaginary friends onto fantasy sports teams.

Happy Hour 8-10 p.m., except Tuesday, which is despair night.