Club Organizer Gifts

Founder of the Emoticon Club

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Face painting.

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

Face painting by numbers.

"Take us to your inclusive leader."

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"By labeling it, I control it."

Pearly King and Queen

I was thinking about the implications of your brave effort last week to unionize. I didn't really. I was role-playing. Whatever. Do you realize the demise of unions has coincided with a massive decline in the middle class? What? I'm helping chickens cross a road on my iPhone. I'm taking about the income gap! Talkin' 'Bout the Income Gap is sponsored by: The makers of signs, placards, and other protest equipment.

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

Collective Psyche

Sloth 10K.

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

'The grudge match.'

Before the riots/after the riots

"Tia Carmen, if you had a bucket list, what would you put in it?"

Annual Mensa Convention: 'Ok, who's the genius who forgot to send out the invitations?'

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

Human Rights for All

social services cuts

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'

STRIP *Community Care * 'client empowerment' policy

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'Why am I not surprised that this section is always the most disorganized?'

'If you'll excuse me, my car is on fire.'

Extra Long-jump

Lateral Thinking - Not Out & Not In trays.

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

Impotent Democracy