Health Club Employee Gifts

Don's new job,was assistant bubble man,in the jacuzzi department.

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

"I'm starting slowly with a trainer who just stands around talking about his personal life."

'I wished I'd known about this club last week. I'm really stressed out at my job!'

Mouse on an Exercise Bike

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

'Should I call the auto club of the coast guard?'

Clown riding unicycle exercise machine at health club.

The Garra Rufa's idea of a Grand Day Out.

Bouncer.

'I heard you got a job at that new club. It must be great."

'Dinosaurs might have survived if they'd gone to health clubs.'

'He's here to apply for the bouncer job.'

What makes you think you'd make a good bouncer? My enthusiasm...I'm prepared to give anything a bash!

'How much have you lost so far?', '$375.00'

HEALTH CLUB, 'It's just a bunch of guys sitting around eating breakfast cereal.'

'I need something that will raise my energy level but not my self esteem - I'm already full of myself.'

Crisis at the health club.

"The new position not only comes with a bump in salary, but allows me to extend my reach into areas where I'm not qualified."

"Would you describe your current level of fitness as very fit, somewhat fit, fit to be tied or not fit to stand trial?"

"Sorry... I can't hear you above the noise?"

'How much have you lost so far?', '$375.00'

All natural herbs - vitamins - supplements. 'Looks like he died of natural causes.'

HEALTH CLUB, 'It's just a bunch of guys sitting around eating breakfast cereal.'

Beauty Salon - "I'm just sorry we couldn't do more for you."

"I wish you would quit referring to this establishment as a sweatshop!"

"And being her agent does pay pretty well. So, what night is wet-t-shirt night anyhow...?"

"Crunch gym"

'The Rockettes...of yoga'

Cut out and keep your own Bouncer.

'At this company, we don't get sick, Kiesnowski!'

'Our 'Resolution Membership' is a no-obligation contract, complete with unscheduled workouts and spotty routines that fit anyone with weak, annual ambitions.'

"Then, someone hit on the idea of selling our torture devices to fitness centers."

'I'm just making some grilled cheese sandwiches for my co-workers and then you can start your tanning session, miss.'