Fitness Center Staff Gifts

"This exercise ball is broken."

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

Targets.

"On reflection i think i could have coped with just 340' feedback."

Hand sanitizer

'I owe you an apology, Greffman -- Let's keep it that way.'

"Gosh, 'inept' seems so harsh. Personally, I prefer the term 'productivity-challenged!'"

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

"The mint on the pillow was nice, but I'd prefer a chocolate fudge brownie."

Whack, Out of Whack.

Fitness Camp. I'm trying to strengthen our boarders!

'All right, gentlemen, this is the current picture of our growth industry!'

"He's not a big fan of micromanaging."

"I'm starting slowly with a trainer who just stands around talking about his personal life."

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

Friday 5.30pm.

"Bear in mind there are three laws in this gym we cannot ignore: health, safety and gravity."

'It's from my staff...make sure it's not carnivorous.'

'No Sir, it's not sunny here all the time. Never at night.'

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

If found, please return to cubicle L-325.

"This report is replete with errors, distortions and downright lies, yet I find its moral message quite uplifting."

Cut out and keep your own Room Service.

How much would you take off for cash?

'Any chance of getting your alarm clock fixed?

'Front desk? Someone came in my room and ate the little candies on my pillow.'

'Remember, only the consumer is still consumer concious.'

'You're not being paranoid. You have every reason to fear losing your job.'