Gym Employee Gifts

"Would you describe your current level of fitness as very fit, somewhat fit, fit to be tied or not fit to stand trial?"

"I'm starting slowly with a trainer who just stands around talking about his personal life."

"Crunch gym"

The Obese Sign Holder for Health Foods and Slim Gym.

'Our 'Resolution Membership' is a no-obligation contract, complete with unscheduled workouts and spotty routines that fit anyone with weak, annual ambitions.'

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"This feels like an accomplishment."

On the back of the t-shirt...

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

"We're exclusively delts."

Biceps, muscles and brawn

"It's true: no more burpees."

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

Bench Press Accident

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

Exercise now!

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

'Every new year Gym membership goes up - for the Panto season.'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

Exercising