Gym Staff Gifts

'I can help you develop your triceps, possibly beef up your chest. But to be brutally honest, you need to be erased and completely redrawn.'

'Do you have a rowing machine?'

Fitness Camp. I'm trying to strengthen our boarders!

Capitol Gym. Staff. This model was designed just for politicians --- it reverses direction without any warning!

'Faster Mr. Barlow, the lights keep going dim!'

Cow and Pig see 'Staff' logo reflected and read it as 'Fats'.

"It's showing how many calories I'm burning and estimating how long before it becomes an expensive clothes hanger."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"This feels like an accomplishment."

On the back of the t-shirt...

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

Multi-tasking.

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'These are job perks.'

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

"It's true: no more burpees."

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

"We're exclusively delts."

Bench Press Accident

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

Biceps, muscles and brawn

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!: