Gym Staff Pillows

'I can help you develop your triceps, possibly beef up your chest. But to be brutally honest, you need to be erased and completely redrawn.'

'Do you have a rowing machine?'

'Faster Mr. Barlow, the lights keep going dim!'

"It's showing how many calories I'm burning and estimating how long before it becomes an expensive clothes hanger."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"This feels like an accomplishment."

On the back of the t-shirt...

Multi-tasking.

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

'These are job perks.'

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"We're exclusively delts."

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

Biceps, muscles and brawn

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

"It's true: no more burpees."

Bench Press Accident

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'