Health And Beauty Critic Gifts

Food for thought.

Man Inside TV Produces Ideal Viewer

'Now that you've all had a chance to try the shampoo we would like you to fill in this questionnaire.'

Might be time to lighten up on those collagen implants, hon.

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

"She's genetically modified, you know."

Animal cosmetic testing

'Try not to stare. Father Time hot hair plugs and botox.'

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

'We believe it was at THIS point that the species became extinct.'

'True rupture is rare. Ladies' breasts are most commonly bursting simply with admiration for me and my skills.'

Health Foods

Romee Strijd caricature

"My talent agent tells me I have the perfect face for a hand model."

'Google Earth is getting SO precise! Right now, I'm zoomed in on Kathy Mangiante's face and I can tell she's had lip implants!'

"The cost of a haircut? It depends on what's in your underpants."

'Too much Botox, Mavis.'

'Have I ever considered electrolysis? What's electrolysis?'

"...and the women who used the placebo makeup turned out to be just as attractive."

"I'd really let myself go. I hadn't shaved in days."

TV Programme - Celebrity cosmetically enhanced body parts.

'Now that's more like it.'

"Actually, I do look a lot like my mom. It's just that I have her first nose."

"I'm sorry, I can't help you - they just pay me to sit here and look pretty."

"How did the liposuction work out?"

"Make my face sag - I want people to think I've never had plastic surgery."

"I asked for razzle-dazzle – not frizzle-frazzle."

"I'm suck if this pressure to be beautiful all the time."

'There, but for liposuction, go I.'

What puberty used to do. What puberty apparently does now.

An overweight lazy man chooses to exercise in a car at a gym.