Headline Hoarder Gifts

Bad News Headlines: War in Iraq...Largest Peace Time Deficit.

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

Newspaper suicide.

'I suppose that's where things get ironed out.'

'We'll take two sets, for upstairs and downstairs.'

Cameron uncomfortable hanging out with his inquisitor.

Big Newspaper Delivery

"We live in interesting times. Present company exempted, of course."

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

News Headline Reads - 'Man Bites Feral Media'.

'You fancy yourself as a press baron, don't you?'

"She just loves them - she's a total girl horse."

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

"Here's what went wrong today."

"Now here's my co-anchor, Nancy, with a conflicting account of that very same story."

'Your job, Richards, is to make sure that my name never appears in a headline alongside the word 'siphoned.''

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

'Look, if we're going to make this business work, we need to stop eating all the stock.'

'Read ALL about IT! In other less TRASHIER Newspapers!'

Newspaper

"Sorry, there's no toilet paper or hand sanitizer down here."

"In financial news, stocks were down, bonds were up. In world news, democracies were down, dictatorships were up."

'According to the latest reports, there were no earlier reports.'

'Inflated gloom!'

'No comment for now, but there will be a press leak at four.'