Headline Hoarder Pillows

Bad News Headlines: War in Iraq...Largest Peace Time Deficit.

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

"As a young man growing up in today's complicated world, I think it's important for me to stay in touch with world events."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

Newspaper suicide.

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

Cameron uncomfortable hanging out with his inquisitor.

'I suppose that's where things get ironed out.'

The Expert

News for Sale

"We live in interesting times. Present company exempted, of course."

'We'll take two sets, for upstairs and downstairs.'

Big Newspaper Delivery

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

News Headline Reads - 'Man Bites Feral Media'.

"She just loves them - she's a total girl horse."

'You fancy yourself as a press baron, don't you?'

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

Science Journal. Editor. Ernie, we need a headline that will interest the general public in our artificial supernovas. "Big stars involved in nasty breakups"! (Published originally on March 2, 2009.)

"Here's what went wrong today."

"Now here's my co-anchor, Nancy, with a conflicting account of that very same story."

'Your job, Richards, is to make sure that my name never appears in a headline alongside the word 'siphoned.''

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

'Look, if we're going to make this business work, we need to stop eating all the stock.'

Magazine stand in middle of the desert.

"Sorry, there's no toilet paper or hand sanitizer down here."

"Do I have to answer that? I wanted to sell all this stuff to the tabloids!"

'No comment for now, but there will be a press leak at four.'

Newspaper

'According to the latest reports, there were no earlier reports.'