Head Master Gifts

Express Lane: 10 or less quibbles about grades

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

Yummy Mummies

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

'And with this one I scored 138 not out...every one off the edge.'

'146 days of leadership without any negative press.'

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

'Long term I want student achievement to increase. Short time I want a cup of coffee and a biscotti.'

'I tell you, dad, Miss Hamilton is a witch!'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

Man and brain

He smiled to himself, enjoying his victory in hide and side. But soon, the next activity would start.

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

Education Guidance

Trout Game

"This may take a minute as my mom's menu options have changed."

'You can't blame the kids for being restless when we have math teachers teaching French, and English teachers teaching science.'

"Your spelling, grammar and typography are all dreadful... Do you really want to end up as a cartoonist when you're older..??

Principal: You are here, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

'I know the kids don't like you and pick on you, but you have to go to school...you're the teacher.'

'Well if you're sick of seeing me here, and I'm sick of coming in here,let's call a truce!'

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

'I think our mission statement should mention scholarship and attendance.'

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

'She's attending a 'confidence empowerment' seminar, to have her aura recharged.'

Earl and Lance struggle with their new invention, Chessers."

"...and smoking is forbidden behind the scooter shed"

"Well, my daddy always says it's not a lie unless the Grand Jury says it's a lie."