Headmistress Gifts

'Anyone can get to school on time if he tries hard enough, Eddie.'

'I tell you, dad, Miss Hamilton is a witch!'

'I know you're on drugs boy. You've been seen with the supply teacher.'

'When do you teach them how to dress themselves?'

The unexpected breaking up of the seminary for young ladies

"The head will see you now."

'It's hard to believe that at home, she's a mommy.'

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

'42 day detentions will of course only be used in exceptional circumstances.'

"Don't take your job so seriously, Mrs. Butler. Life is so short."

'What zip code are we in now?'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

Yummy Mummies

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

'146 days of leadership without any negative press.'

'Long term I want student achievement to increase. Short time I want a cup of coffee and a biscotti.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'Coulda, woulda, and definitely shoulda.'

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

A new schoolmaster testing students on geography

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

Education Guidance

'Here you are. I got tired of making you endless cups of tea..!'

"This may take a minute as my mom's menu options have changed."

"I'm number 846 on my salon's wait list. You?"

"Your spelling, grammar and typography are all dreadful... Do you really want to end up as a cartoonist when you're older..??

'You can't blame the kids for being restless when we have math teachers teaching French, and English teachers teaching science.'

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

Principal: You are here, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

'I know the kids don't like you and pick on you, but you have to go to school...you're the teacher.'