Head Teacher Gifts

Books on running a successful school,

'It says, the board HAS agreed to allocate those extra funds you requested.'

'146 days of leadership without any negative press.'

'I give the same advice to all new teachers. Pretend you know what you are doing.'

"I agree teachers are underpaid, however...."

"You can't be needing another break - the kids have only been back a week!"

Teacher.

'Come along Sir... nobody likes their first day back.'

'Instead of observing your teaching, I'm going to install a web cam in your classroom.'

Student's alphabet soup spells insult for head-teacher.

'Tonight there's a small, select meeting of the P.T.A - just you, me and the Head!'

'Excuse me sir...Wilks is going 'WEE' in front of the others again.'

' - I see literacy is your strong point - How come you parked in my bay?'

'Not 'fell', Simkins - 'fallen': Mr. Jones has fallen out of the window...'

'I'm not too sure about Mr Chips' latest effort to make his lessons more interesting.'

"Watch out, it's the Head..."

To give more clout to his disciplining style, Principal Dave Murdock installed a wind tunnel in his office.

A Puppet Named Juan

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Where your mind & battle are los

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

Ethics exam cheater.

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Louis Armstrong