School Head Gifts

'It's not a designer pin. It's actually a medal the Principal gave me for backing up my hard drive.'

Ethics exam cheater.

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

I will study my speling words...

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

'I had no idea aspirin came in such a large bottle.'

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

POP goes the weasel, Collin, not ka-boom splat.

"I guess it took a pandemic to make me realize school is better than trying to learn stuff online."

'It's a tough call but I'm going to side with your parents, if for no other reason, because they can sue and you can't.'

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

"Isn't there an app for this?"

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

Big Bang Theory.

"How can I be a lead learner without the technology needed to lead?"

'One more curse out of you, young man, and it's right down to the principal's office.'

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

Yummy Mummies

"I didn't say my dog ate my homework. I said Russian bots ate my homework."

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

'This handheld computer is very useful for teaching. It displays my lesson plan, calander, key files, and an extensive menu of put-downs for hecklers and classroom clowns.'

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"