School Principal Gifts

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

Books on running a successful school,

'The principal is busy right now, so I have to put you on hold. Would you like to hear our mission statement sung by the school chorus?'

'It says, the board HAS agreed to allocate those extra funds you requested.'

'For throwing spitballs in class, I am sending you to the principle's office. It's nothing personal, It's just a classroom management thing.'

'The Principal suspended me-- School is the only place in the world where you can get time off for bad behavior.'

'You will be appointed principal of a school and you will resist change for your entire career,'

'No, Kevin -- there isn't any margin of error on spelling tests.'

'Teaching reading, writing, and arithmetic sounds like a good idea. Let me run it by an educational focus group.'

'Welcome to our staff. Here's a curriculum guide, a roll book, and a bag of tricks.'

'I'm afraid Miss Johnson has lost control of her class!'

"We don't have a time-out chair in our Classroom Community, that's our mindfulness chair."

'The first item on the principal's cabinet agenda is the high rate of staff absenteeism.'

'There's a group here to see you about a class action!'

"You'd think a teacher shortage would make it easier to get away with stuff."

'The Principal suspended me-- School is the only place in the world where you can get time off for bad behavior.'

'For throwing spitballs in class, I am sending you to the principal's office. It's nothing personal. It's just a classroom management thing.'

Through These Hallowed Halls, walks Our Future - "Talk about putting pressure on a guy!"

'Billy, I'm not going to argue the semantics of biting. Whether or not you penetrated skin, I'm calling your mother.'

'I get to drive the bus all week. . . I won a bet with the Principal. . .'

'Very impressive conflict resolution experience! I see you taught the third grade.'

"Bobby was caught imposing his values on another student."

Valentine's Day at School.

"And if you look to the right you'll see what happens if you disrupt my class."

'Why does London Bridge keep falling down? Sounds like lawsuit material to me!'

'Final exams are easier if you think of them as exit polls.'

'Today's lesson - how to slam a door.'

Controversial Boxes

'I was like, LOL, when I should have been OMG.'

'Are you willing to take a drug test and a vow of chastity while on school property?'

'No Billy! I am not ready to see you yet!'

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

'You know I support diversity in our curriculum, but UFO studies?!'

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

'Saul Werman, Attorney at Law... I got a call from someone in need of 'wegal wepwesentation?''