Head Of The Class Gifts

'Coulda, woulda, and definitely shoulda.'

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

Yummy Mummies

The full moon frenzy strikes again."

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

"Sure, money may be imaginary - but at least it's got everybody imagining it."

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

'146 days of leadership without any negative press.'

'Long term I want student achievement to increase. Short time I want a cup of coffee and a biscotti.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'Actually, nowadays it's considered offensive to call an answer 'wrong'.'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

Bureaucrats held up by the workers.

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

'You can't blame the kids for being restless when we have math teachers teaching French, and English teachers teaching science.'

"Your spelling, grammar and typography are all dreadful... Do you really want to end up as a cartoonist when you're older..??

Teacher's pet dog

Education Guidance

"This may take a minute as my mom's menu options have changed."

'Well, when you mess up on the job, you know where you stand with me.'

Too much homework: kid with two backpacks.

Principal: You are here, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

'I know the kids don't like you and pick on you, but you have to go to school...you're the teacher.'

'Well if you're sick of seeing me here, and I'm sick of coming in here,let's call a truce!'

I'm in the den mom, reading the newspaper for social studies class.

J.P.Hensmore Superintendent AKA Head Honcho, The Big Guy,The Man, Numero Uno and The Big Cheese.

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

'I think our mission statement should mention scholarship and attendance.'

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

"Well, my daddy always says it's not a lie unless the Grand Jury says it's a lie."

'She's attending a 'confidence empowerment' seminar, to have her aura recharged.'

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'