Headmaster Gifts

Principal: You are here, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

'Since we initiated regular staff development sessions, we've turned the school around 360 degrees.'

'Watch out for her. She lets you do all the talking.'

'My dad wants a word with you!'

'I hope that is not too much of an inconvenience for you, but I'm desperate to hold on to good teachers.'

School Open Day - all my staff are depressed, the catchment area's terrible, I've sent my own kids private. 'You know, you can be too open, headmaster.'

'We were told to multi-task so I was attending class while sleeping.'

'They're not the exam results, headmaster. They're the truancy figures.'

'Well if you're sick of seeing me here, and I'm sick of coming in here,let's call a truce!'

'Long term I want student achievement to increase. Short time I want a cup of coffee and a biscotti.'

'That's the new Headmaster - he has a knack for communicating with the kids.'

'Frankly, Headmaster, the only way this boy could write a decent essay is if he kept his pencil still and I moved the paper!'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

"My problem is, I can't tell a good example from a glaring example."

'Well, I don't believe four-eyes is being bullied, Mrs Smith.'

"About these experiements of yours into genetic cloning, Bond" boomed the Headmaster, "They must cease immediately"

"Good news, Mrs Jackson. Your son isn't dyslexic after all... He's just palin stupid!"

'Well if you don't want to see me in here anymore, then tell the teachers to stop picking on my bad behaviour!'

"Society's failed you, son - 6 times to be exact�"

A headmaster in the stocks covered in rotten eggs.

'She's suspendered from her previous school.'

Schoolmaster says 'know', schoolboy thinks 'no'.

"Yes, that's correct Mr. Brown. Your son was punished for something he didn't do... His homework."

Shirtlifters will be prosecuted

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

"Make it quick. I'm busy allocating resources."

'I know you're on drugs boy. You've been seen with the supply teacher.'

'That's the new Headmaster - he has a knack for communicating with the kids.'

Naughty schoolboys fight behind teacher's back in old fashioned school.

Suddenly, Mr. Nowicki wished he was not the principal of the finest clown college in the southwest.

'Your fitness regime hasn't worked headmaster. The gym floor collapsed.'

"Look on the bright side, Headmaster, selective education is safe for the time being"

"The head will see you now."

'Don't worry about the boy who bullied your son...I've sorted him.'

'My dad used the exact same word yesterday. Does he have to come here too?'