Headmasters Gifts

Education! Education! Education!

'I'm not sure about 'Dangerous Sports Day', headmaster.'

Co-education

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

Yummy Mummies

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

'146 days of leadership without any negative press.'

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

'Long term I want student achievement to increase. Short time I want a cup of coffee and a biscotti.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'I tell you, dad, Miss Hamilton is a witch!'

A new schoolmaster testing students on geography

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

"This may take a minute as my mom's menu options have changed."

"Your spelling, grammar and typography are all dreadful... Do you really want to end up as a cartoonist when you're older..??

Education Guidance

'You can't blame the kids for being restless when we have math teachers teaching French, and English teachers teaching science.'

Principal: You are here, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

'I know the kids don't like you and pick on you, but you have to go to school...you're the teacher.'

'Well if you're sick of seeing me here, and I'm sick of coming in here,let's call a truce!'

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

'I think our mission statement should mention scholarship and attendance.'

"Well, my daddy always says it's not a lie unless the Grand Jury says it's a lie."

Kate's first task as new principal was to right a number of wrongs.

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

"...and smoking is forbidden behind the scooter shed"

'She's attending a 'confidence empowerment' seminar, to have her aura recharged.'

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

Books on running a successful school,

'My principal wants to see you about my principles.'