Headmaster Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"The head will see you now."

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

Yummy Mummies

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

'Long term I want student achievement to increase. Short time I want a cup of coffee and a biscotti.'

"This may take a minute as my mom's menu options have changed."

"Your spelling, grammar and typography are all dreadful... Do you really want to end up as a cartoonist when you're older..??

Principal: You are here, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

'Well if you're sick of seeing me here, and I'm sick of coming in here,let's call a truce!'

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

Party Schools...

"...and smoking is forbidden behind the scooter shed"

"Well, my daddy always says it's not a lie unless the Grand Jury says it's a lie."

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

Do Not Pass. Just like high school.

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

"It's a clear case of RLS: Repetitive Lecture Syndrome."

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

Naughty schoolboys fight behind teacher's back in old fashioned school.

"About these experiements of yours into genetic cloning, Bond" boomed the Headmaster, "They must cease immediately"

"Mr. Stilz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask Kelley to ask Dawn to ask Lisa to tell you he'd like to see you in his office."

'You haven't much experience in plant conservation, have you Winthorpe?'

'I had no idea there was a Nobel Prize for school custodian.'

"I give all new teachers the same advice. First you have to get the attention of the class. Can you quack like a duck or juggle two books in the air?"

'We are looking for highly motivated, confident decisions makers for headships. Is your son such a man, Mrs Smikins?'

'That's a relief! I thought he was as thick as three planks.'

'Was this eye of newt locally sourced?'

Hairy Potter.

Sugestshun Box: Spelling test.

"You're a very good hall monitor, Billy, but we don't detain teachers."