Humor Master Gifts

"I just think we should eat a lot more ice cream for dessert to battle global warming."

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Copycats

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

I will study my speling words...

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

Dog Walking Services

"When is my next parole hearing?"

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Outer Space Outsourcing

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."