Humor Maestro Gifts

"This is Harold. . . He's in charge of office merriment."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

Nathaniel Hawthorne

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

"Textin’"

'Come out with your fins up!'

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

Moo Out Loud

Twitter censorship

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

When you said the cat was hacking down here, I assumed you meant a hairball.

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

"It drives me MAD when people act as though we've nothing to do except write moronic memorandum."

Painting

Buzzfeed does The Bible: 10 commandments that will blow your mind.

"There is only one thing worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. Lol. Winky face."

Children playing in the street

'I couldn't practice last night on account of my Dad's head was gonna' explode.'

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

Well you know what they say - here today gone tomorrow - or in the case of dotcoms, here today gone shortly after lunch.

I stamped out smiley faces in your handwritten memos, and by George, I'll do the same with emoticons in your emails!

Ventriloquism For Beginners.

'Am I on your good Facebook friend list, or on your bad Facebook friend list?'

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

'I'm still working on my novel. In the meantime, and this is between you and me, I make ends meet by writing all those cat memes you see on Facebook.'

'Well, according to this website, the internet no longer exists!'

This isn't a good time to see him --- He just got outbid for a soul on eBay. Beelzebub.

21st Century Malaise-Attention-Seeking-Disorder

Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough...

'Maybe the first couple of times, but believe me, the 'Are you following my Tweets' is no longer funny.'

"Any missed assignments can be excused only with a note from your internet service provider."

"I'd like a trigger warning."

Surgical intervention on Emoticons