Headhunter Humorist Gifts

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

'The circle is complete!'

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Thirty Four

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

Easter Island Cheeseheads

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

"Let's just go in and see what happens."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

A Club Sandwitch.

"Garden variety allergies."

Wolf to Red Riding Hood: 'No thanks, I'm on a strict grandmother diet.'

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

Of course I always start off by wooing a prospective candidate with talk of stimulating work,great colleagues and a reasonable work life balance...but the winning argument is always when I promise them enough money to choke a rhino.

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

'I'm interested in your job opening, so I'll have my agent give you a ring!'

"I'm going to send you to someone who's more familiar with the law of the jungle."

Burnout Syndrome...

Inflatable Duck Boat

Spot Quiz....

"I'm being heavily recruited by several other companies."