Headhunter Humorist T-Shirts

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

'The circle is complete!'

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

Easter Island Cheeseheads

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

"Let's just go in and see what happens."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

A Club Sandwitch.

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

Wolf to Red Riding Hood: 'No thanks, I'm on a strict grandmother diet.'

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

"Garden variety allergies."

Of course I always start off by wooing a prospective candidate with talk of stimulating work,great colleagues and a reasonable work life balance...but the winning argument is always when I promise them enough money to choke a rhino.

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

Inflatable Duck Boat

"Did you hear that that bastard McMinney has buggered of to work for Bank of America!"

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

Burnout Syndrome...

'I'm interested in your job opening, so I'll have my agent give you a ring!'

"I'm being heavily recruited by several other companies."

"I'm going to send you to someone who's more familiar with the law of the jungle."

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