Promotion To Headmaster Gifts

A headmaster questioning a pupil on the quality of his Greek grammar.

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

The Shrinking Dollar.

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

Yummy Mummies

"The first one is for graduating from basic training. The rest are classified."

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

'Long term I want student achievement to increase. Short time I want a cup of coffee and a biscotti.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'I tell you, dad, Miss Hamilton is a witch!'

'The market shifted on me.'

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

A new schoolmaster testing students on geography

'I didn't get the salary increase, but I've been moved one parking space closer to the entrance.'

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

'Your advert didn't say anything about intelligence... it said you wanted a manager!'

'You can't blame the kids for being restless when we have math teachers teaching French, and English teachers teaching science.'

"Your spelling, grammar and typography are all dreadful... Do you really want to end up as a cartoonist when you're older..??

"This may take a minute as my mom's menu options have changed."

Education Guidance

Principal: You are here, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

'I know the kids don't like you and pick on you, but you have to go to school...you're the teacher.'

'Well if you're sick of seeing me here, and I'm sick of coming in here,let's call a truce!'

"Norman, leadership is about more than telling everyone to be more like you."