Promotion To Headmaster Gifts

A headmaster questioning a pupil on the quality of his Greek grammar.

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

The Shrinking Dollar.

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

"The first one is for graduating from basic training. The rest are classified."

Yummy Mummies

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

'Leadership training.'

'Long term I want student achievement to increase. Short time I want a cup of coffee and a biscotti.'

'The market shifted on me.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Snoopy - do you have a stamp commemorating an educational leader?'

'I tell you, dad, Miss Hamilton is a witch!'

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

A new schoolmaster testing students on geography

'I didn't get the salary increase, but I've been moved one parking space closer to the entrance.'

'Your advert didn't say anything about intelligence... it said you wanted a manager!'

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

Education Guidance

'You can't blame the kids for being restless when we have math teachers teaching French, and English teachers teaching science.'

"This may take a minute as my mom's menu options have changed."

"Your spelling, grammar and typography are all dreadful... Do you really want to end up as a cartoonist when you're older..??

Principal: You are here, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

'I know the kids don't like you and pick on you, but you have to go to school...you're the teacher.'

'Well if you're sick of seeing me here, and I'm sick of coming in here,let's call a truce!'