Hazardous Materials Specialist Gifts

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

"Bob's the name. Toxic-waste handling's the game."

Hazardous Wastes R Us.

Asbestos Clean-up

Load explodes on impact.

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

Hazardous Materials: In Case of Accident Do Not Come To This Area For 25 Years.

Another anthrax case...

Chemical Waste Disposal.

"So, Mr Canary, I see you have experience as a mine safety specialist..."

Crash Test Dummy Blues

'Since hooking our generators up to your exercise machines, we've cut our fuel consumption by 25.'

'We'll need some time-delay remote detonators and a big brick of C-4.'

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

Hazardous substance - ignitable, corrosive, reactive, toxic, real smelly, yucchy.

'Larry, did you replace the cartridges in all the respirators this morning?'

Scientist cleans lab window.

"How was your day, dear?"

You should all get along beautifully. Fred handles toxic wastes, Doris works at a nuclear reactor, and Walter just isn't taking any chances.

'Remember he's got a short fuse.' (Chairman of an explosives company).

'Get back...there's a thermometer in that filing cabinet that could leap out, smash on the floor and give someone a mild headache.'

'Didn't you know? We just drive around. This is a mobile toxic waste dump.'

"So that's where it goes! well, I'd like to thank you fellows for bringing this to my attention."

"Hazmat's been very good to me. But my first real love is still beekeeping."

Here's another shipload of old yellow cake uranium from Iraq. Let's get lost, quick!

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

"He was a firm believer in rolling up his sleeves."

'It's your wife, she wants you to pick up some milk on your way home.'

Uncle alarmed at learning his nephew keeps his cartridges in front of the fire

Workers in Hazmat suits make sweets

Sisyphus and the Mine

Golfer hits a plane on his drive.

Missile company employee gets a missile in his 'incoming' tray.

Absurd firework lighterdouser