Hazmat Specialist Gifts

'Get back...there's a thermometer in that filing cabinet that could leap out, smash on the floor and give someone a mild headache.'

Scientist cleans lab window.

"Hazmat's been very good to me. But my first real love is still beekeeping."

"He radiates warmth."

The Anti-Agent

Man using to much bug spray

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

The New Normal

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

CCTV in church.

Crash Test Dummy Blues

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

Decontamination

'Waiter, there's a drone in my soup.'

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

"What makes you think this could be a suspect package?"

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."

To prevent geese from flying toward its planes, Jupiter Airlines made some key design changes,

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

Hazardous substance - ignitable, corrosive, reactive, toxic, real smelly, yucchy.

"Thank you all for attending this first conference of the surveillance camera recording industry."

Man in a hazmat suit on a COVID-19 wrecking ball.

'You know, if you cleaned the litter box more often, you wouldn't have to wear the hazmat suit.'

They didn't tell me what to do with it. I thought they told you what to do with it.

Weapons of Terrorism

"I failed driver's ed....Apparently there's like this rule about rear-ending a police car!"

What's in a Terrorist Name?

Watching The Watchers.

A tanker truck with a warning on the back that reads "The scientific community is divided. Some say this stuff is dangerous, some say it isn't".