Hazmat Technician Gifts

'Here's our Chief Engineer to confirm we do not any chemical weapons.'

Man using to much bug spray

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

The New Normal

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

Decontamination

Nice park. . .

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

Crash test dummy employee of the month.

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

Hazardous substance - ignitable, corrosive, reactive, toxic, real smelly, yucchy.

'You know, if you cleaned the litter box more often, you wouldn't have to wear the hazmat suit.'

Man in a hazmat suit on a COVID-19 wrecking ball.

They didn't tell me what to do with it. I thought they told you what to do with it.

I'm a seat warmer test dummy.

"I always put things off until the last minute."

Scientist cleans lab window.

A tanker truck with a warning on the back that reads "The scientific community is divided. Some say this stuff is dangerous, some say it isn't".

'Get back...there's a thermometer in that filing cabinet that could leap out, smash on the floor and give someone a mild headache.'

Hazardous Wastes R Us.

Load explodes on impact.

"I'm not wearing any underwear."

"Have you ever had the feeling you forgot to turn something off?"

"Hazmat's been very good to me. But my first real love is still beekeeping."

"Bob's the name. Toxic-waste handling's the game."

"Any accidents within the last twelve months?"

"If you didn't like your job, you should go into ventriloquism like your brother."

'Morning, ma'am. I'm here to install your security system.'

"Remember when we used to worry about him bringing home nits?"

"I see your son has a summer job."